im so angry right now i dont wanna deal with any of the shit they want me to deal with. this is terrible, honestly, things got all wrong. i think im finally awake.
and scared to look at what it has turned into

just how many times.

(and i really shouldnt make fun of alex and turn people like him down. i should thank him for still being there for me and thinking [incorrectly] that i am worth something. the worst thing is that i dont seem to be able to pull myself together, at all. and i dont know what to do about it.)
now its time to remember what you know about giving up, masha, and get yourself up.