плевала я на все, допиваю вчерашний лемончелло, пишу ему бред и просто расслабляюсь.
почему, какого хрена я должна freak out about a guy who doesnt give a shit about me?! who doesnt know how to deal with me?!
i spent the night with pepe yesterday, and today he came to TALK about it, to make SURE i dont feel uncomfortable about it, to let me know that he ENJOYED it, to let me know that even though we are friends he doesnt mind GOING OUT,
to tell me he was worried that i might be worried about everything -
of course i am not and i told him about it -
but the fact that he didnt just DISAPPEAR like that fucking asshole,
the fact that he really cares about me, while WILL doesnt,
all this crap has to finally convince me that HE isnt worth the tears and all the nerves!
and fuck his vulnerability, all that shit that he did to me SIX months ago, why should i even bother?!
i dont know why i still do. i dont have even a bit of self-pride anymore i just do shit and i dont think with my head
i freak out freak out freak out all the time, just plain ruin my life because he doesnt care
and theres so many nice guys around me and i dont want any of them. not even ONE. need will. a fucking introvert with no friends and a weird behavior. hahaha what the hell.
i dont understand.