отлично просто
молодец маша
молодец ничего не скажешь.... нахуй было пить?! he came it was around 2 am, its 3 30 now. and pepe saw us. хотела уилла - получила уилла. и все его дисордерз и сайколоджикал проблемс
и у него официальный диагноз клиническая депрессия
сейчас только что рассказал
как знакомо huh?!
я в заднице. быть честной - вот правда в полной заднице. господи.. господи ну зачем.
наверное, сейчас я совсем-совсем уже взрослая, да? я не знаю. я люблю его. более чем взаимно. holy shit.

плевала я на все, допиваю вчерашний лемончелло, пишу ему бред и просто расслабляюсь.
почему, какого хрена я должна freak out about a guy who doesnt give a shit about me?! who doesnt know how to deal with me?!
i spent the night with pepe yesterday, and today he came to TALK about it, to make SURE i dont feel uncomfortable about it, to let me know that he ENJOYED it, to let me know that even though we are friends he doesnt mind GOING OUT,
to tell me he was worried that i might be worried about everything -
of course i am not and i told him about it -
but the fact that he didnt just DISAPPEAR like that fucking asshole,
the fact that he really cares about me, while WILL doesnt,
all this crap has to finally convince me that HE isnt worth the tears and all the nerves!
and fuck his vulnerability, all that shit that he did to me SIX months ago, why should i even bother?!
i dont know why i still do. i dont have even a bit of self-pride anymore i just do shit and i dont think with my head
i freak out freak out freak out all the time, just plain ruin my life because he doesnt care
and theres so many nice guys around me and i dont want any of them. not even ONE. need will. a fucking introvert with no friends and a weird behavior. hahaha what the hell.
i dont understand.

я очень боюсь, что я на этой неделе пойду на advising appointment к paula,
а следующими будут psych services.

naaaaaaaaaaaaap
nap nap nap nap nap nap
holy cows i need to sleep
but no
no
shit как же я устала

i am an IOA!!!! omg omg im soooo happy and so excited!
www.bucknell.edu/x43583.xml

Закрытая запись, не предназначенная для публичного просмотра

its just so fucked up and i am not enough to change it
hes not gonna do anything to prove me wrong because i am not enough

как так получается, что я даже примерно не помню, что мы проходили в начале октябре по математике, зато прекрасно помню каждое его слово, движение и улыбку?

so they tell me to weight all the pros and cons
but what if theres just ONE plus - "everything might work out"
and ONE minus - "nothing might work out"
then how am i supposed to weight?!

it might very well be that god's given me a chance. the only chance i might ever get. and im not using it... im sitting here and thinking about it and im not using it.
the deadline is tomorrow. its either i go there today or dont go at all. i have no idea. i have no idea. i just had an important interview and i wasnt as nervous about it as i am about going there.
i feel so horrible right now i feel like my head's gonna blow up.
i dont know.... ive never been so nervous in my life.
ok im gonna go right now. if i faint on my way.. oh my god. oh my god. i feel so fucking nervous i just dont know what to do.

there we go!



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